I bet he comes in French.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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