we're making bets on your personal life
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
