I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
