can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We are two peas in an std pod
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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