ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
