I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
