I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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