You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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