he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
