So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
