the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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