She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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