Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
