No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I would fuck him just for his dog
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
