You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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