I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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