Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
