look no pants
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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