My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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