i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
