she woke up with a sticky ear
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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