no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
