That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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