Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
When are your genitals available?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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