Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the liver wants what the liver wants
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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