There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
