Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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