oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
