at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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