Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
