So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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