I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
