end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
