Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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