We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
