I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
