If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
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That's how twitter works, right?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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