What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
