he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
