The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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