Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize