i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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