just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
false alarm, still single
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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