I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
