i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
