DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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