farters have to be the big spoon...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
