Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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