why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
