dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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