She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
