Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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