I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
