honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
