i think my mom watched the whole time
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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