Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
