who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize