so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
soo... how was my night?
Randomize