If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
